on being cute.

you know what, it's tough to be a girl, to be a woman sometimes.  i was thinking about this a few weeks ago, flipping through the february issue of glamour, featuring zooey deschanel.  she had this little gem to say:

'i'm just for being myself.  there is not an ounce of me that believes any of the crap that they say. we cant be feminine and be feminists and be successful?  i want to be a fucking feminist and wear a fucking peter pan collar.  so fucking what?'

i read this quote from ms. deschanel over a month ago, and i've been thinking a lot about it ever since.  it wasn't until i watched the oscars last night that i really felt motivated to write about this topic yet again: body image.

her quote, to me, epitomizes a struggle i have felt for a long time.  i have always had my own style that i like and that i feel secure in.  but the one time i had a very hard time looking like myself was when i was shopping for a wedding dress.  see, i had decided years before what dress i would wear.  i was maybe in high school or early in my college years, and i was flipping through lucky magazine, and i just saw it.  i wasn't even dating at the time, but i tore the page out and kept it.  so as soon as philip + i set a date for the wedding, the first thing my mom and i did was try on my melissa sweet wedding gown.  when i put it on, i felt like myself.  i looked like myself - not like someone trying to play dress up.  i instantly knew it was the dress.

my dress!

but i struggled for months before finally deciding to buy it.  why?  because everyone told me that i looked so 'cute' or 'adorable' or 'sweet' when i put it on.  i was never beautiful, or glamorous, or sexy.  i wanted, just for one day, to look beautiful.  but the truth was, that just wasn't me.  over time, i accepted that and bought the dress i wanted.  and on my wedding day, i felt like i looked like myself, and my dress fit my personality and our wedding just perfectly.

me in the dress.

however, the issue of cute v. sexy is something i still come back to quite a bit.  i am 28 now, and i am not beautiful, i'm cute.  and you know what?  i'm finally, 100% ok with that.  in fact, i LOVE it.  but in our society, in our american culture, you still have to have the perfect figure to be called beautiful.  remember that lovely girl zooey i was quoting above?  well, a certain word has been coined to describe her - adorkable.  which i absolutely detest, more than anything.  when she walks the red carpet, why isn't she described as gorgeous?  can't a woman be sexy or beautiful even if she isn't willing to be slutty?  no.  she buttons it up and puts on glasses for time to time - which earns her some weird hybrid word between dork and adorable.  pathetic.  and mind you, she's a tiny thing.  but she's secure with who she is, and i love that about her.

work that buttoned up collar, girl!

the truth is, to me, i wish most other celebrities could be more like her or these beautiful ladies below.  i wish everyone could be secure enough to just be themselves and stop trying so hard.  trying so hard to fit into this box that has been created for women, and stop cutting down other women who don't fit inside that box.  it's unhealthy. 

so, on that note, i'd like to share a few other of my girl heroes, besides the fab ms. deschanel.  

adele

'i don't like going to the gym.  i like eating fine foods and drinking nice wine.  even if i had a really good figure, i don't think i'd get my tits and ass out for no one.  i've seen people where it rules their lives, you know, who want to be thinner or have bigger boobs, and how it wears them down.  and i just don't want that in my life.' 

'i like looking nice, but i always put comfort over fashion.  i don't find thin girls attractive; be happy and healthy.  i've never had a problem with the way i look.  i'd rather have lunch with my friends than go to a gym.' 

'no matter what you look like, i think the key is to be happy with yourself.' 

queen latifah

'i had to grow to love my body.  i did not have a good self-image at first. finally it occurred to me, i'm either going to love me or hate me. and i chose to love myself. then everything kind of sprung from there. things that i thought weren't attractive became sexy.  confidence makes you sexy.' 

maya rudolph

'for me, i feel beautiful when i'm just resting.  i think that's when you really get a chance to sink into your own skin.'   

'i don't look my best when i wake up.  but, i do feel beautiful when i'm tired and happy and i've had a good laugh and a glass of champagne.'

gabourey sidibe

'people always ask me, ‘you have so much confidence. where did that come from?’ it came from me. one day i decided that i was beautiful, and so i carried out my life as if i was a beautiful girl … it doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. what matters is what you see. your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.'

amy poehler

'when you feel really  crappy about your body or how you look, sometimes a good way to help yourself out of it is to have some gratitude.  if you can go around your body and kind of thank it for what it gives you and thank yourself for your great eyesight, or your think hair, or your nice legs, or your strong teeth or whatever it is that you have that you were given.'

tina fey

'now every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full spanish lips., a classic vutton nose, hairless asian skin with a california tan, a jamaican dance hall ass, long swedish legs, small japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of michelle obama, and doll tits.' 

'don't worry about trying to change  opinions.  do your think and don't care if they like it.'

mindy kaling

'since i'm not model-skinny, but also not super-fat and fabulously owning my hugeness, i fall into that nebulous 'normal american woman size' that legions of fashion stylists detest.  for the record, i'm a size 8 (this week, anyway).  many stylists hate that size because , i think, to them, i lack the self-discipline to be an aesthetic, or the sassy, confidence to be a total fatty hedonist.  they're like 'pick a lane.'

[stepping off of soap box].  on that note, i want to say that yes, some women are naturally slender or like being fit, which is wonderful.  i think everyone should be at a healthy place, inside and out.  to me, it's about being happy and healthy however you look. 

hope this is a good way to start your monday long with looking at the best red-carpet looks from last night [which i will also be doing too].

i guess the sun of california really is doing me some good :)

til next time!

high high #31

she & him tickets purchased for their show in boston!

i haven't been to a concert since U2 back in may of 2011... craziness.  i do love going to concerts, but i don't do it very often at all.  but pi, being the most amazing husband he is, found out that she & him are on tour and are stopping in boston to do a show in june - and ticket were going on sale this morning.  so we set reminders for 10am, hopped online, and got two prime seats at a very reasonable price.

i am so excited!  and just for those of you who haven't heard or seen she & him [what, do you live under a bridge?!], here's their promo music video for why do you let me stay here. 

enjoy!

thanks, robert ingersoll!

i was hard at work on my political philosophy paper last night, and i wanted to share this beautiful quote from robert ingersoll.

while i am opposed to all orthodox creeds, i have a creed myself; and my creed is this.  happiness is the only good.  the time to be happy is now.  the place to be happy is here.  the way to be happy is to make others so.  this creed is somewhat short, but it is long enough for this life, strong enough for this world.  if there is another world, when we get there we can make another creed.  but this creed certainly will do for this life. 

awesome.  i can't believe that i went to school to study stuff like that.

and no, i didn't finish my paper yet.  the writing stage is totally done - but it just has to be edited tomorrow before i turn it in.  then i will truly breathe my huge sigh of relief.

a christmas memory.

this song came on my iPod this evening as i was driving home and i thought i'd share it with you all, along with a little special memory i have of it.  i love it :)

back during my prague days, we took a little road trip over thanksgiving break.  now, of course they don't celebrate thanksgiving in the czech republic, but american students still do.  so basically we skipped class on thursday and friday.  we rented a little car and left prague on thursday afternoon, and then drove to vienna.  it was awesome for so many different reasons - one of which was road trips are just a little more interesting when you are trying to drive your way around europe.  also, PI and i were just becoming an item at this time, so it was a special time for us. 

but best of all, it was christmastime.  and christmas time in vienna is something very special.  we were all on a very tight budget, so we found a nice hotel and shared a room with two twin beds between five of us.  but during the day we would wander around the city and spend time in the amazing christmas village in the city square.  now i am really huge into christmas carols during the holiday season, and one day while we were walking around the christmas village, i found this old frank sinatra christmas album and just had to buy it for our car trip.

well, that night we were all going to bed in our cramped little hotel room and we decided to put on some christmas carols as we went to bed (yes, we were kind of strange college students i guess).  the first some on the album is this one below - which just happens to be my favorite christmas carol of all time.  no joke. 

at the end of the song frank says 'merry christmas.'  and as we all laid in the dark, PI and i cuddled in a twin bed together with some of our best friends, we all at the same time said 'merry christmas frank.'  it was such a weird thing, as soon as we all said it we all just busted out laughing.

it is such a random memory but one of my favorite holiday memories.  just wanted to share that :)

beer tasting party

hey friends!  hope you have had as awesome of a long holiday weekend as i have!  we decided to welcome in fall with a beer tasting party with some friends on saturday - and it turned out awesome.  pi had the awesome idea to make it like a wine tasting.  he told a bit about each beer we drank, poured it for people in tasting glasses, and we all tasted together and rated our favorite beers.  it was a brilliant idea and it worked out great.

of course i just loved hanging out with friends, the long weekend, and getting ready for fall - our favorite season.  the prep was pretty easy, it was just difficult to narrow down the beer we wanted to try.  for food, we put out some classed-up versions of classic beer food.  fresh pretzel rolls, three mustards for dipping, roasted turkey and honey glazed ham slices, jalapeno kettle chips, malt and vinegar kettle chips, smoked cheddar and gouda cheeses, and grilled bratwurst with fresh sourdough.

table setup

wheat, oats and a vinage seltzer bottle

the sunflowers in a german beer mug were perfect

tasting in full swing

two of our favorite people ever to hang out with

looking stuff up on her phone between tastings

j & r

josh & pi

starburst taste testing - do they all taste the same?

even brew made an appearance!

love this face :)

yes, we drank a LOT.

just for kicks, here was the menu:

beer

paragon dry dock apricot blonde

fuller smith ESB

avery the kaiser octoberfest

o'dell levity amber ale

samuel smith's oatmeal stout

elysian avatar jasmine IPA

he'brew rye double IPA

rogue chocolate stout

my favorite was definitely the jasmine IPA - i am obsessed with both of those things and it tasted like a flower explosion in my mouth.  i picked the he'brew beer because i had been wanting to try it for a long time, and i was glad i finally did.  everyone brought their own picks too, so there was much more sampling long after our samplers were gone.  

yesterday we had w stay the night so we slept in and then went to see the bourne legacy.  jeremy renner movies are kind of a tradition with us, as w & i are both lusting over him currently.  and we saw him in the new mission impossible on new year's eve last year and decided we love him.

today it's all about going to the market and getting out fall clothes!  the 70s are finally in sight and i couldn't be more excited.  oh, and i guess some homework too :)

til next time! 

surprising aj in boston

hey all! so last week it was my brother's birthday, so for his birthday this year we decided to fly out and surprise him.  with a little help from my dad, we were able to coordinate the whole thing and have an awesome weekend.  last year i surprised him in a different way, but this year we actually got to spend the whole weekend with him by ourselves.  kind of awesome.  obviously i couldn't blog about it before, so sorry for the delay - but here are some pics from out great time together! 

wouldn't be a trip to boston without dinner in the north end - at lucca

aj's amazing espresso martini at brunch at gaslight. always order your drink after him.

the man of the weekend, all growed up.

boston's history never gets old to my dad.

aj walking down the public alley to his place

taking a lovely stroll 

i'm a little intimidated by my boston cream pie 

it was an awesome weekend and i was so glad i got to celebrate aj's birthday with him!  next month we are headed to NYC, so more traveling to come.  can't wait!

little school update: i've finished up my summer semester and fall starts tomorrow already.   tomorrow is my first day of my last semester of school!  holy cow, i can NOT wait to be done.  can't come soon enough.

lots of exciting things coming up, so stay tuned! :)

xoxo

10 ways i'm most like my dad

it's been a while since i've done one of my popular '10 best' lists, and i've had some requests that i start doing those again.  and what better reason to make one than father's day!  so, here i present:

the 10 best ways i am most like my father

10.  the most obvious would be my laugh.  it's loud and contagious (and kind of man-ish, which is fine for my dad but not so great for me).  i laugh at just about everything, and it's one of those room-clearing laughs where people turn around and say, 'what the hell is going on over there?'  it's fine at home, a little awkward at movies.  but i wouldn't change it for anything.

9.  my undying and borderline obsessive love for hockey & U2.  the two aren't really related, except that my dad loves them and i love them just as much (if not more).  but i grew up around both hockey and U2 and came to love them - sometimes for no other reason than my dad loves them, so i got on board.  and now those are two of my favorite things ever.

8.  i'm argumentative, which i really take to mean i stand up for what i believe in.  when my dad and i fight, it's ugly.  we are both very passionate and don't mind confrontation (or yelling), and i remember once even throwing tissues boxes at him.  but we voice our opinions and like to stand up for our ideology, even in the face of others.

7.  my passion for travel + adventure.  to be honest i never knew my dad loved this so much until the past decade or so, which was also when my love affair with travel and other cultures started.  i always wondered where i got it from, but now i know it's my dad.  we are both at home in airplanes and airports, and are at our best and happiest when going somewhere new.  i love that.

6.  we share the same respect for family, food, and traditions.  this is a big one.  whether it's our christmas eve walk down fifth ave, summers at the villa, nanny's spaghetti or midnight mass, i've learned from my dad that these are the best things in life.  especially when the three of them are together :)  dad & i even took at as far as taking the same picture every year during our christmas eve walk every year, just because it's tradition. 

trump tower, christmas eve 2008

trump tower, christmas eve 2007

5.  love for the water and the beach.  we aren't really camping people.  but give us a blanket, corona, italian ice and the waves - and we're just as at home as we would be in a nice loft.

4.  it's not how many times you fall down, but whether or not you get back up.  i can't even say how many times my dad said this to my brother and i growing up, and it's always stuck with me.  my dad as fallen down.  but i am proud of him because of the person he is and the person he continues to be, no matter what happens.  i try to do the same thing - for example, finishing school now that i am 27 just because it doesn't matter how long it takes me, so long as i finish it. 

3.  love for entertaining.  seriously, my dad is such a great host.  no one's glass is empty, the music is never quiet, and everyone's always laughing.  i love being the hostess too, and i like to think i'm pretty good at it.

2.  we're democrats.  i come from a long line of democrats on my dad's side of the family.  enough said. 

1. my sense of humor.  there are some movies that my mom calls 'drew movies' because they have an off-beat sense of humor (i.e. the royal tenenbaums) that my dad and i share. 

happy father's day to my most amazing dad :)

family portraits!

for mother's day this year, we decided to do something a little different for mom.  no brunch, no spa gift cards, no flowers.  instead, we had family pictures taken for mom of the boys and i.  a good friend of mine from school and OFA is an awesome photographer, and he and his sister own their own photography company.  we did them very sneakily while aj was in town for easter - we got up early on a saturday morning (all super hungover tired) and headed over to sloan's lake a few blocks from the house.  i've been wanting to share these for a month now but didn't want to blow the surprise for mom.  anyway, he did such an awesome job, and mom absolutely loves them!  so here are a few of my favorites:

four of us in front of the lake

love philip's face here

the boys - aj, philip & clarence 

the obligatory jumping shot. no shoes for me :) 

hope you enjoyed!  as for me, it's sunday so i'm off to relax - 4 days til JAMAICA!!!

xoxo